


Hiraeth

by StormiTheCriminal



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Bay Movies), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Disturbing Themes, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Heavy Angst, Psychological Manipulation, Psychological Torture, Rape, Sexual assualt, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:20:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 22,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23900707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StormiTheCriminal/pseuds/StormiTheCriminal
Summary: A hand fell onto his shoulder and he was suddenly face to face with the human. When had he gotten so close? Mikey wanted to back away, but he couldn’t. There was no sympathy in Sacks' expression. “Must be difficult,” the man began, “sacrificing so much for those who aren’t even paying attention.”
Comments: 9
Kudos: 48





	1. Hurts Like Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to aclassythot for inspiring me to write this! Please go and read their stories!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hmm,” Sacks rounded him and squared their shoulders. “Last time we met; your brothers wouldn’t let you out of their sights. What changed, Mikey?”

**Hiraeth**

A Welsh word meaning a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return; a home which maybe never was.

x.X.x.X.x

It had been a long time since Mikey earnestly looked at his brothers, and even longer since they looked at him. As recently as six months ago, hiding something from his brothers was an impossibility. In the wake of defeating Krang and fumbling with tracking a recently released Eric Sacks and a rogue Shredder, the brothers were inseparable. Whether in training, at the dinner table, or crowding around Donnie to hear the newest updates, they were closer than they had ever been. In hindsight, it might have been the aftereffects of their near-death encounter with the Technodrome rather than a genuine strengthening of their bonds.

Mikey noticed Leo start to withdraw first. Gradually, the eldest began skipping breakfast with his brothers to meditate, and this rapidly gave Donnie the prerogative to sleep in after working long hours in the lab. Hours made even longer because of their enemies escape from justice.

But there was still training and their daily huddles to discuss their next moves. Mikey held onto those moments with dear life; it felt like he was losing his brothers. It was this desperation that resulted in Mikey often becoming overly enthusiastic and clingy. Unintentionally, this annoyed his brothers to the point of irritation and caused them to withdraw even more. The living room became no man's land.

Mikey spent too much time alone after this; it turned out he was not such pleasant company at 3 am, sitting in the silence and the dark. With no distractions, Mikey’s thoughts rapidly turned against him.  _ Why did you say that? Why did you do that? They obviously didn’t want you there. Leave them alone! They don’t want you! They don’t need you! You contribute nothing valuable to the team! _

It was during the steepest of Mikey’s descents that the worst became even worse. Splinter had initially responded well to the mutagen sample Donatello extracted from Sacks’ lab during their escape. What they didn’t know was that Splinter’s body had begun an internal battle between his own mutagen and the new mutagen. His cells were rejecting it, the turtle's DNA was not compatible with his, and his body began to degrade from the inside out. It took them almost three years to notice.

The lair became so cold after that. And quiet.

There was no more laughter or joking around. No playfulness, no more movie nights, no visits from April or Casey. No more happiness. No more need for Mikey.

If Leo was not training or forcing them to train, he was by Master Splinter’s side. The old rat could hardly move, Donnie likened his condition to stage four cancer, and his prognosis did not look good. However, if anyone could fix him it was Donnie, right? He had done it before, he could do it again!

Mikey was not allowed to visit Master Splinter much – he was ‘too loud’.  _ Too useless _ . And as far as Mikey knew, Splinter never asked about him.

Sometimes at night, when everyone was asleep, Mikey would sit with his shell against the outside wall of Splinter’s room. He would lean his head back and pretend he was talking to his father. He could not actually speak because Leo would hear him, wake up, and shoo him away, but he would mentally project his words through the wall, hoping, somehow, his father could hear. Eventually, he stopped doing this. He never got a response, so what was the point? There was no comfort in the stillness.

On his last visit to his father’s room, he sat still and motionless for what felt like hours. He felt numb and empty. There were no words left for him to say, all he could do was allow his violent emotions to leak into the air as he searched for some source of warmth or kindness – anything. But there was nothing. Only the cold and silence.

The night had been the hardest of his life. Afterward, the icy emotions in his veins began to harden, and with it came a soothing nothingness. A nothingness that allowed him to do what he needed to do to protect his family.

Months later, Mikey got up at the usual 3 am and headed silently towards the Lair’s entrance. He only spared a single glance back to ensure that no one had seen him and then he was gone. The path through the sewers was mundane and familiar by this point. The only tracks in the dust and dirt were his own. No one knew of the route, nor of his destination.

There was a ladder built especially for him just below his target. At the top of the ladder were a platform and an enormous titanium door. The guard on the other side would see him via the security camera and open it for him. No words were exchanged as Mikey was searched for weapons. Even after so long, he still wasn’t trusted – the feeling was mutual.

With the guard’s approval, Mikey would be escorted away from the tunnel entrance and deeper into the building. An employee service elevator would take Mikey and the escort to the top floor – the penthouse. Two more guards armed with military-grade weapons would be waiting at the entrance to Mikey’s personal hell. The polished white wooden doors haunted the turtle’s dreams as much as his reality. Though, now, he did not flinch or hesitate as he walked through them. The escort stayed safely outside and would return only when called by the hell’s master.

“Michelangelo,” his name was spoken fondly as if he were an old friend. But, as their eyes met, Mikey saw only sadism and malice intent. Eric Sacks sauntered over to him, whiskey on the rocks in hand and head held high as if he hadn’t nearly been imprisoned for life thanks to Mikey and his brothers only a few years go. “So nice of you to join me on such a beautiful night.”

“I have the blood,” Mikey muttered, pulling the vial from his belt. Sacks plucked the glass from Mikey’s fingers and hummed at it.

“This isn’t very much.”

“I didn’t really have a lot to work with. If I’d taken any more Donnie would have noticed.”

Sacks seemed satisfied and returned to the bar across the room to place the vial in a protective case. “If there is toxic mutagen in your father’s blood, my scientists will detect it and formulate the proper mixture.” Mikey felt a heavenly sprinkle of relief bring temporary warmth to his chest at hearing those words.

“But of course, should you at any moment dishonor our deal, I will not help you.” The words hung heavily in the air, threatening to suffocate anyone listening, but Mikey had heard them before. With a stiff nod, Mikey confirmed that he still agreed to the terms and was willing to go through with the deal. The briefest of smiles passed Sacks' face before melting into a satisfied smirk.

Mikey felt the need to fidget when Sacks began to silently pace around him with the same smug expression. “So, how did you manage to get here? I can’t imagine it was easy to sneak out of a home occupied by ninjas.” Despite his instincts screaming at him to keep his enemy in his sights, Mikey did not turn to follow Sacks, he wasn’t in control, he had no power here.

“I just...walked out. No problems at all.”

“No problems? No one noticed?”

Mikey chewed on his lip, “No.”

“Hmm,” Sacks rounded him and squared their shoulders. “Last time we met; your brothers wouldn’t let you out of their sights. What changed, Mikey?”

This was deliberate. He was pointing out his brother’s inattentiveness on purpose to try and hurt him. Mikey wanted to lie, to say his brothers were probably awake and worried. His phone, which he had left at home, was being spammed with messages and calls and Donnie was trying to track him via the chips in his nunchakus – which he also left at home. But it wasn’t true. Even if his brothers were awake, they wouldn’t notice he was gone, not until training. And even then, there is no guarantee that someone would come looking for him.

“I….,” what  _ had _ changed? It was easy to say that his brothers were distracted with Master Splinter, but it began before that, hadn’t it? Mikey’s gaze lowered as he grappled with the question. Had his brothers changed? Was it him? That was a terrifying thought.

A hand fell onto his shoulder and he was suddenly face to face with the human. When had he gotten so close? Mikey wanted to back away, but he couldn’t. There was no sympathy in Sacks’ expression. “Must be difficult,” the man began, “sacrificing so much for those who aren’t even paying attention.”

Mikey froze. The ringing in his ears became violent and the room brightened vividly until he squeezed his eyes closed. He hardly heard Eric say, “you need a distraction, come with me.”

Obedient as a hungry puppy, the speechless turtle followed.

“I think now might be the best time for you to prove just how much you want your father to recover.”

When Mikey looked up again, they were in the master bedroom. A familiar sight. He had spent many mornings watching the sun come up through the enormous windows opposite the bed. When Sacks cleared his throat, Mikey realized he had missed an order. Eric’s amusement had slipped but quickly returned when he saw the renewed sense of fear and desperation in Mikey’s gaze.

“On the bed,” the man repeated. Mikey turned to look at the pristinely made sheets and then back at him. That was new. Usually, he was asked to kneel. Nevertheless, Mikey was not in control here. Something he should have been used to given the dynamic he had with his brothers.  _ This was for Splinter _ .

Cautiously, the mutant crawled onto the mattress and sat with his shell pressed against the headboard. Sacks' eyes roamed Mikey’s body with a hunger that the younger wished to shy away from.

But he couldn’t.

“Turn around and put your hands in the cuffs.”

Mikey glanced over his shoulder at the headboard to see two hanging metal clasps waiting patiently to restrain him. An adamant protest was right on the tip of Mikey’s tongue, but he stopped short. The look on Eric’s face was one of great threat.  _ This was for his brothers. For his father. _ Biting back a whimper, Mikey did as instructed. He pivoted on his knees and cautiously lifted one wrist to the metal restraints. He yelped in surprise when the metal closed automatically around his wrist and he pulled against it. It was snug and bone cold. The chain disappeared through the headboard via a small hole and thus Mikey couldn’t gauge what he would have to fight against if he absolutely needed to get out. Another disadvantage.

With a shudder, he allowed the second cuff to lock him tightly to the headboard. It occurred to him that Sacks was ensuring that Mikey didn’t go back on his end of the deal. It was difficult for Mikey to do much other than try to quiet the intense whirling of untameable thoughts in his mind. The cruel words Eric spoke earlier were standing over him, waiting to attack.

“Can I have something first?” Mikey blurted out when the bed dipped behind him.

There was a pause and then a promise, “when we’re done.”

Mikey inwardly groaned, he could desperately use the numbness of drugs. A generous number of pills and piles of powder were usually offered upon Mikey’s arrival, but considering this was a special occasion, he supposed Sacks wanted him as sober as possible.

Eric and Mikey had never had intercourse before. Everything else, they had done – Mikey had been forced to do. But never  _ that _ . This had given Mikey a bargaining chip,  _ the _ bargaining chip. He would give himself over completely; mind, body, and spirit to Eric Sacks in exchange for Sacks’ help curing his father. The deal had been vague. Enough so that Mikey wasn’t exactly sure the extend of what he may be expected to do.

The previous terms agreed upon six months ago were fairly simple and easy to follow. Mikey was expected to return to the penthouse atop TCRI every night at 3 am unless instructed otherwise. If he did this and cooperated with any and all testing and sample collecting Sacks wanted, his brothers would be left alone. Mikey wasn’t sure when allowing his blood to be taken transformed into allowing Sacks to lure him into his bedroom and into the sweet embrace of drug addiction under the guise of protecting his family. Nevertheless, it happened, and here they were.

Yet, the young turtle did not dwell on such things lest he self-destruct. Sacks had kept to his part of the deal. His brothers hadn’t fought foot soldiers in months. When they did come across them, the foot would immediately retreat. And now that Master Splinter was sick, they needed the extra padding of protection to keep the family safe. Even if his brothers never knew of the sacrifices he was making, he just wanted his family to be okay.

Sacks closed in on him and Mikey bowed his head between his shoulders in resignation. The familiar hands began to touch him, starting at his hips, as they always did. He had tried to prepare himself to uphold his end of the deal, but his coping skills were reliant on drugs. All he accomplished was a panic attack and a long night desperately google searching how to prepare for unwanted sex. He had gotten plenty of information on helplines and support groups but nothing that was particularly  _ useful _ .

His basketball shorts were pulled down and off his legs. The room was warm, but Mikey shivered. “You look thinner, are you eating?”

Mikey very nearly scoffed, as if Sacks really cared about his well-being. “I’ve been distracted,” the bite in his voice would usually get him in trouble, but it seemed that given the circumstances the human was offering him a reprieve.

“Open,”

Mikey widened his stance and restrained a flinch when his tail was grabbed. Courtesy of their mutation, Mikey’s genitals were no longer housed in his tail, but that didn’t make it any less sensitive and Sacks was quick to figure that out upon their first  _ encounter _ . Usually, Sacks would spend time playing around with Mikey, forcing him into painful arousal and then using such to his advantage. This time, however, Mikey was already at his mercy – literally chained in place.

His tail was lifted, and two slicked fingers found the base and probed his entrance. Mikey bit his lip and winced in discomfort when both digits forced their way into him. It became apparent very quickly that Eric was intending to do as little as possible to prepare him. Mikey supposed he should be thankful he was doing anything at all. 

“Look at me,”

Mikey turned to look over his shoulder. The man’s face was flushed, and his eyes were dark with sadistic lust. A second after their eyes met, a splitting pain shot through Mikey’s tail and spine. He jerked against the headboard, trying to get away from the pain and cried out. Eric groaned in ecstasy and ruthlessly became a brutal pace that did not allow Mikey to adjust.

Eric’s hands clung to the edge of Mikey’s shell, using it to hold the younger still as he continued the assault. The rape.  _ Was it rape _ ? Mikey didn’t know if it qualified. He did agree to this and he never told Eric to stop. His thoughts were interrupted when the human jerked to a stop completely seated inside him.

Mikey had heard Eric orgasm enough to know what was happening. Relief flooded his system and the tension he was holding in his shoulders melted away. Something leaked down his thighs when Eric pulled out. It smelled like a mixture of blood and cum. Mikey pressed his forehead to the headboard and heaved a deep shuddering breath. The side of his face was nudged and he turned to see a hand offering him two beautiful white pills. He couldn’t down the pills quickly enough.

The mutagen in his system was both a blessing and a curse. The compound meant that drugs metabolized quicker, meaning he didn’t have to wait so long to get high, but it also meant that the effects were short-lived. Nevertheless, Sacks seemed to have a bottomless drawer somewhere and that night was the first time he was denied drugs, albeit temporarily. Mikey was more agreeable when high.

Mikey hummed as his system was set alight with the beautiful high brought on by opioids. Warm air brushed against his cheek and he blinked his eyes open. “I am the only one who can make you feel so good.” Sacks muttered, reaching around him to touch his flaccid penis.

“I know,” Mikey sighed. All his problems and worries were thrown out the window and he gave himself away to the feeling of the high and the pleasure he sometimes got with Sacks.

x.X.x.X.x

The walk home at 5 am was slow. Mikey’s body was sluggish with pain, but the young turtle didn’t feel it. The bleeding had stopped, and Sacks made him clean up in the bathroom before leaving. There were no outward signs of injury when he looked in the mirror. He was fine.  _ He was fine _ .

The extra two pills he had been given before leaving were keeping him giddy as he continued his slow progress back to the lair. Training typically took place in the evening, so Mikey had all day to sleep without worrying anyone. Mikey chuckled at the thought – _worrying anyone_. No one was worried about him! And thank god! His secret would be really hard to keep if anyone did.

The lair was quiet – just as he left it. The only sound was the serene movement of water from the slide and the hum of their various appliances. He moved towards his bedroom, which was tucked away in the corner of the lair – hidden unless you knew where to look. It was accessed through a little hole in the ceiling just to the side of an old drainage pipe. The hole might have been too small for Raph to fit through, though that theory had never been tested, Raph never came to visit. He probably didn’t even know he had switched rooms.

Several notches pressed into the pipe acted as a ladder to climb through the hole. The tight entrance opened into a spacious long-forgotten command post of some sort. The floor was covered in soft carpets and mats he had collected over the years. A massive bean bag he had to empty to get into the room sat in front of an entertainment system he may or may not have gotten from Sacks. If his brothers ever did come up there, they would probably start asking too many questions.

Metal stairs led up to an old observation point which hung by tension wires from the ceiling against the far wall. He had gutted the deck, all the consoles and useless equipment had been thrown out, and the hall leading to the external door collapsed and the door sealed, leaving a large space for him to use as his bed. Instead of a mattress, Mikey used dozens of pillows and blankets to form a nest. It was his favorite place to be. The heating lamp hung from the ceiling above made the little spot a turtle’s paradise. After a long day, Mikey yearned for nothing more than to curl up in the blankets and sleep his troubles away.

The deck was high enough that he could walk underneath it with several feet between his head and the bottom. He had built a little kitchenette of sorts there and even installed a little fridge stocked with his favorite soda. Creating his safe haven was the most fun he had had in weeks. It still brought a smile to his face; he was proud of himself. There were still more things he wished to add, but all in good time.

The drugs pulsing through his system prevented him from feeling his true fatigue. Thus, instead of retreating to slumber as he should, he plopped down on his bean bag chair and decided to play some games before going to bed. The virtual world was his favorite form of escapism – besides drugs.

Mikey awoke to the sound of his phone ringing. His head throbbed and the mild light from his game made him flinch when he opened his eyes. He craned his head to see his phone blinking from its charging spot on the kitchenette counter. He rolled himself to his feet and immediately dropped to his knees with a yelp and a whimper. _Holy fuck_.

Holding himself up was all his could do as the sharp pain viciously reminded him of what transpired with Sacks. He forced away the tears and waited impatiently for the worse of it to pass. He had moved too quickly and possibly tore open a wound. But it was fine, he was fine, he just needed to see who had called him. If it was Sacks, he would need to call back immediately lest he gets in trouble. Again.

Gingerly, Mikey placed his feet flat on the floor and straightened his spine. He could do this, he would be fine, it was all going to be fine. He picked up his phone and was curious to find that the missed call had not been from Sacks. It had been from April. This was odd, she rarely ever called him. The two of them communicated daily through text – mostly via silly gifs and memes – but they hadn’t talked on the phone in months.

Nevertheless, just in case she needed help with something, he called her back. It was 1 pm, he probably should eat something, but his stomach rolled at the thought. Drugs and food did not mix. This thought reminded him of what Sacks had told him. Mikey looked down at himself, had he really lost that much weight?

“Hey, Mikey!” April’s cheery voice greeted him on the third ring.

“Hey, Angelcakes!” Mikey replied, forcing his voice into a happy tone, wow he hadn’t had to do that in a long time.

“How’s Master Splinter doing?” Donnie must be keeping her updated.

“As good as he can be. But he’ll start getting better any day now!” And likely not because of the work Donnie and Leo were doing.

“That’s good. I am bringing supplies down to the Lair today and I was wondering if you had anything to add to the list Leo gave me.”

Ohhhhh, that makes sense. “You asked Leo to make the grocery list? Angelcakes…”

“You didn’t answer my text this morning.”

Mikey flinched, “yeah, sorry about that, I forgot to charge my phone last night.” If April realized it was a lie, she didn’t say anything.

“That’s okay, Mikey. So, anything to add?”

Mikey – _carefully_ – dropped down out of his room and glided over to the kitchen. The Lair was as cold and quiet as ever. He opened the fridge and mentally took inventory of the food they had.

“Did he cover fruits and veggies?” Leo ate a lot of raw food – as a ninja warrior should. _Scoff_.

“Check.”

“Leo’s tea and Donnie’s coffee?”

“Check.”

“Uhhh, I think Raph is low on protein powder,” Mikey remembered as he opened the pantry to double-check. They had plenty of canned goods and other perishables.

“Oh! The chocolate kind, right?”

“That’s the one! Oh! And pop tarts, I saw the last box in the bin earlier. He likes smores and strawberry.”

“Got it. Mikey,” her serious tone made him pause, “is there anything that _you_ want? Like, for you?”

“Oh….uhhhh,” he bit his lip and felt anxiety build in his chest. Why did it feel like he had just been caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar? He closed the pantry and looked around the kitchen as if the cupboards held the answer. How long had it been since he cooked something here?

“What about those little taco bowls you like? Or frozen pizza?” Her voice had become incredibly soft like she was comforting a child. This put Mikey more on guard than her serious tone had. “And orange crush? Would you like some of that?”

“Y-yeah, that would be great, April!” There was a pause and Mikey held his breath.

“Alright, Mikey. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Yeah! See you soon!” He hung up and felt ice-cold sober. He needed a burning hot shower.

Their bathroom was absolutely wicked, one of Donnie’s best architectural feats in Mikey’s opinion. Each turtle had his own extra-large shower stall with a large rain shower head and a secondary detachable head. The specific temperature settings made his shower stall the second-best place for him to retreat to when overwhelmed or upset. However, his recent activities had prevented him from showering at home recently. He missed it and planned to spend a long time standing in the steamy stream.

Mikey stripped off his basketball shorts and his shoes. He turned the water on at his preferred setting and sighed as he melted into the healing liquid. Mikey wasn’t immune to the instinctual yearning for water that most turtles had. He felt at peace when surrounded by water – something that was hard to come by for him. He’d bring the idea of a basking tub up to Donnie if he knew he’d be taken seriously.

The shower was incredibly pleasant until he turned a little and the warm water streamed down over and under his tail. He flinched and quickly stepped out of the stream. A small amount of blood circled the drain. It looked like he indeed had accidentally opened up his wounds earlier. He knew enough about medicine to know that wounds needed to be clean in order for them to heal properly. He bit his lip and silenced a whine at the realization of what he needed to do.

Reluctantly, he stepped back into the stream, this time in such a way that the water would wash away any remaining blood. Mikey winced and wavered slightly when nausea rocked his frame. He blamed the lack of drugs and food in his system for the near faint.

He watched the drain and as soon as the water became clear, he turned to relieve his wounds of the gentle assault. The young turtle sighed and resumed his self-indulgent wash. Mikey had special soap he received from April for his birthday, it gave off his favourite scent, honey. On the card, April had said the gift was because he was so sweet. He smiled at the memory, it sucked not having her around as much anymore. At least she still offered to go to the grocery store for them every two weeks.

He cleaned every inch of his skin and felt like a new turtle afterward. The gunk clogging his mind seemed to wash away as well – if only temporarily. After an hour, he realized that he should get out. April would probably arrive soon and he wanted to be there to help her put all the food away. His heart palpitated at the thought, he was suddenly reminded of the tone of voice she used during their phone call. April was observant to a fault. What if she had noticed something? That wasn’t possible, she was hardly physically around them anymore. Still, Mikey couldn’t shake the feeling that she knew more than she was letting on.

The best way to hide a secret was by diverting attention away from it. Thus, the more _normal_ he behaved the better the chance she would drop any suspicion – if she had any, that is.

Mikey didn’t want to put on his dirty basketball shorts and instead wrapped a big fluffy towel – that was more of a blanket – around his waist instead. He grabbed his shoes and sauntered out of the bathroom and into the cooler area of the lair. Mikey shivered and mentally made a note to grab a sweater before returning to wait for April. He disappeared into his hideaway and lingered under his heating lamp before grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a giant sweater.

He put his shoes back on and grabbed his phone before jumping back down into the Lair. Silently, he plopped down onto the living room couch, which no one used anymore, to wait. He opened his phone to check when the next update for his favorite game was coming out and noticed he had a message. He opened it and flinched when he realized it was from Sacks and he had received it almost an hour ago.

It read, “We have synthesized a vial of mutagen for your father. Be here by midnight.” Mikey’s heart skipped a beat and he leaned forward to read it again to make sure he had understood it correctly. Was it really that easy? Was Sacks' team really so competent? He grinned and his heart exploded at the prospect of his father getting better.

His happiness was shattered when the lab’s door was pushed open. The creak it made had become a normal sound in the Lair. Donnie used to never close the door, now he not only closed it but he usually locked it as well. Mikey watched his brother shuffle into the kitchen with his nose in a textbook. He walked back out a moment later with a steaming thermos. The door slammed shut behind him and Mikey felt his heartache. He had walked right past Mikey and hadn’t even noticed.

Shaking the thought out of his head, Mikey decided this time could be spent cleaning out expired food from the kitchen. Leo would be proud. Or the old Leo would have been. The new Leo would probably scold him for not doing it sooner.

Half an hour later, he had a full garbage bag full of food that Mikey mostly ate. Maybe April – and Sacks – were onto something. The sweater might have to become a permanent part of his ensemble. When he was done, his hands still twitched with the need to do something. Finding cleaner and paper towels, he began to wipe down the cabinets. It hadn’t been done for a long time and Mikey really had to use some elbow grease to reveal the true colour of the countertops.

He did the same with the fridge and freezer. He managed to kill a full hour before running out of paper towels. April still wasn’t there, so Mikey sulked back to the couch and laid down with his head pillowed on an armrest. He flicked through his phone, reading gaming reviews and enviously eyeing the Instagram accounts of some of his favourite gamers.

He must have fallen asleep because April’s soft voice was what he heard next. “Mikey, time to wake up.”

  
  
  



	2. You Are Not Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey’s eyes burned as he began to tear up. This was wrong. He was being manipulated. He loved his father; he had always loved his father. That’s why he was here, why he let him-…  
> So then, why was he hesitating? “A life for a life?” Mikey breathed, as tears began to fall. It certainly felt like they were discussing the terms of his death. Maybe he was wrong to expect this to be so easy. Sacks wouldn’t just let him be free.

**Hiraeth**

A Welsh word meaning a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return; a home which maybe never was.

x.X.x.X.x

Mikey cracked an eye open and was pleased to find a smiling April kneeling in front of him. He grinned back and accepted several gentle face pets. “I’d never thought I’d catch you napping,” she giggled, and he chuckled with her.

“I didn’t mean to,” he yawned, “late night. Where are the groceries?”

“They are right here. Is everyone else asleep?”

Mikey pulled himself to a sitting position and looked around the Lair. It looked the same as it did before he went to sleep. He shrugged and stood to loop the many bags around his arms. That was the only answer April received before Mikey headed for the kitchen to put the food away.

She silently followed, making a mental note of the unusual behaviour.

“You are such an angel for bringing us all these goodies.”

April eyed the sweater hanging around him. She had never seen him wear a shirt, let alone a sweater. Then again, she wasn’t around much when he was sleeping or napping. Maybe he wore it just at night?

“No problem, I wouldn’t want my favorite ninjas to be hungry.” She began to unpack things from the bags and Mikey put them away. “Speaking of which, I expected to smell something cooking. It is dinner time.”

Mikey shrugged again and was grateful he had an armful of things to put in the pantry. It allowed him to hide his pained expression at the reminder of their lack of family gatherings. “Everyone kinda just eats on their own now, ya know with the weird shifts watching Splinter and all.” He was proud of how smoothly the lie slipped out. With a deep breath, he pulled the smile back onto his face. “You shoulda seen the lunch I made! I almost didn’t eat it all!”

April laughed at the idea of Mikey leaving food on his plate. “I couldn’t imagine.” She then decided to change the subject. Mikey was a gamer and because of this April knew quite a bit about the upcoming games because he always asked for them for holidays.

She was thrilled to see the usual enthusiastic fire in his eyes while talking about his favourite passion, but there was something missing. There was nothing behind the excitement. If he turned just the right way, she could see that his eyes were hollow, and the enthusiasm was as thinly veiled as tissue paper.

“Okay, Mikey, I am going to go say hi to your brothers. Can I have a hug before I go?”

On a typical day, he would scoop her up and swing her around in absolute delight. Mikey loved hugs. But he didn’t do that. Instead, he grinned and approached her with open arms. She wrapped hers around his middle nearly gasped at how small Mikey was. Blinking away oncoming tears, she smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon.”

x.X.x.X.x

Mikey breezed into Sacks’ apartment with more enthusiasm than he had ever had before. The man was lingering by the bar, as he usually was. Mikey sauntered over to him with a fresh smile on his face. Sacks looked pleasantly surprised by the expression and turned fully to the slightly shorter turtle. “Evening, Michelangelo.” He purred, cupping his cheek when he came close enough.

Mikey drew a frightening connection between Sacks and April at that moment – she liked to do the same thing. He held the smile, “Do you have it? The cure?”

Eric took a sip of his drink and then set it on the counter. He used his free hand to tug on the fraying edges of Mikey’s mask with a clear dislike. “I do have it.”

“C-can I have it? Can I take it to Master Splinter?”

Eric took a long pause before answering, “the cure, I’m afraid, is going to cost you something, Michelangelo.” The turtle’s face fell, and baby blues shimmered with fear and betrayal. “Now, now, don’t look at me like that. It is just a tweaking of our terms. And if you agree, you can go home with the cure.”

Mikey wrung his hands in front of him and struggled to keep his eyes locked with Eric’s – a requirement when they were face to face. “Wh-what is it?” He didn’t really want to know.

“A tracking chip.” Sacks produced a syringe from the bar with clear fluid and a small black dot in it. Mikey flinched away from it, but the human-made no attempt to forcibly inject him. “It will tell me your location at all times and keep track of your vitals so that I know you are safe.”

_Don’t do it!!_

“That’s it? No other changes?” Mikey wondered, eyes nervously flicking back and forth between Sacks and the syringe.

Unexpectantly, Sacks picked up his drink, turned, and walked towards the balcony. “How old are you now?”

“19.” Mikey followed him without being asked to.

“19. You are a young adult now. And with adulthood comes the need to make hard decisions.” He stood at the railing and Mikey walked up beside him. New York looked so beautiful at night. “Your hesitation makes me wonder; do you really love your father?”

Mikey bristled, “of course I do!”

“Really? You were given the chance to save your father's life and you hesitated at the meager terms.” Eric’s voice was kept even and calm – he knew he was in control and so did Mikey.

Mikey’s eyes burned as he began to tear up. This was wrong. He was being manipulated. He loved his father; he had _always_ loved his father. That’s why he was here, why he let him-…

So then, why _was_ he hesitating? “A life for a life?” Mikey breathed, as tears began to fall. It certainly felt like they were discussing the terms of his death. Maybe he was wrong to expect this to be so easy. Sacks wouldn’t just let him be free.

Sacks hesitated; he hadn’t expected the turtle to be so insightful. He might need to rethink his tactics in the future. “Hardly. You can still go home and be with your family outside of the few hours you spend here each night.”

_But for how long?_ Mikey’s internal voice wondered bluntly. Mikey’s self-worth was frighteningly low as it was, but there was something bone-chilling about having his freedom slowly tampered away that made him want to leave everything behind and run. How selfish was that? To leave behind his family when they needed his help the most? If the choice was between him and Master Splinter, his brothers would go for Splinter. He knew it, and so would he if he were in their position.

His influence on the family paled in comparison to his father. The choice was clear. He would make his family proud by doing the right thing, even if they never knew. He inhaled deeply and looked over at the devil standing beside him. “I agree.”

Sacks met his gaze and as the tracker was injected into his neck, he realized that he had just sold his soul to save his father’s life.

“Can I have something please?”

Eric nodded and led him back inside the apartment. The drugs were always kept in the bedroom. Mikey was given two more pills and he downed them while Eric poured two glasses of champagne. “Time to celebrate then!” Mikey accepted the glass and lifted it just as Eric did. “To new beginnings.”

x.X.x.X.x

“Leo?” April called gently into the dojo. After briefly saying hi to Donnie and Raph, this was her last stop. The eldest turtle sat in the center of the mat in half lotus pose, deep in meditation. His eyes fluttered open to reveal stormy eyes darkened by stress and grief.

“April.” He breathed her name as if she were sunshine after years of rain. Leo stood and walked over to her and she pulled him into a hug. He went stiff at first, but slowly melted into it and stayed until she pulled away. “It’s good to see you.” He hadn’t realized how much the monotony of the Lair had gotten to him.

“Are you alright?” April wondered, still keeping him within arm's length.

“We are all fine, thank you for bringing groceries. Do they need to be put away? I can-.”

“No, Mikey put them away. I am actually here to talk to you about him.”

Leo frowned and he reached around her to close the dojo door. He paced back to the center of the room and clasped his hands behinds his shell. A tense paused quieted the room and he looked at her with a knowing look. “He wasn’t with you, was he?”

April shamefully shook her head negatively. A week ago, Leo had been awake when Mikey left the Lair. He hadn’t realized that his brother had actually left until he didn’t hear him return to his room and thus could not follow him. He had texted April to ask if he was with her and she had covered for him.

“Why? Why did you lie?” Leo was understandably irritated and fearful for his youngest brother.

“I wanted to do some research to see where he was going.” April explained, “I thought that maybe he wasn’t telling you for a good reason and I didn’t want to spoil a surprise or something.”

“And what did you find?”

“Mikey doesn’t take his weapons or his phone when he leaves, so I wasn’t able to track him anywhere using the watch Donnie made for me.” She begins, her expression horribly somber and guilty. “But what I do know is that he leaves around the same time every night and he is gone for several hours.”

Leo’s eyes flashed and in a brazen move of anger uncharacteristic to him he slipped past her with the intention of immediately confronting his brother.

“Leo, stop!” April hissed, grabbing his arm. “Think this through, you don’t want to push him even further away.” This forced the eldest turtle to stop. “Wherever he is going, it is changing him. Have you looked at him lately? He has lost a ton of weight and he was _napping_ when I got here! Have you ever seen Mikey nap?”

Leo finally turned to look at her. Confusion and guilt were evident in his eyes.

April hated the pain telling him this was causing, but it had to be said, “he can’t fight well in this state, what if he doesn’t come back because he got in trouble and didn’t win?”

Leo dipped his head and squeezed his eyes shut to prevent the building tears from overflowing. How had he missed all the signs? Now that April pointed them out, Mikey’s odd behaviour became so obvious. He hadn’t heard the TV in months and Mikey’s skateboard hadn’t moved from its spot in just as long.

They were all reeling from Master Splinter’s sickness, Leo had just assumed that Mikey was coping in his own ways. He should have known that something was wrong. He had failed his brother in so many ways. They had to make it right.

Mikey fluttered into the Lair on feet that had never felt so light. He had the cure! Sacks allowed him to leave early to make sure Splinter got the medicine. He had to plan how he was going to give his father the injection. On his way to his room, he passed the dojo and heard voices from within. April? He thought she had left.

“We need to follow Mikey when he leaves tonight. We need to know what he is doing and where he is going.” The youngest violently flinched away from the door and shuffled several feet away as if the room was filled with fire.

They were going to _follow_ him? No, no they couldn’t do that. That would jeopardize _everything_. Then he heard Leo respond in the affirmative. Not good, _not good_! Without thinking, he bolted in the direction of Splinter’s room. As expected, he was temporarily alone. As quickly as he could with shaking hands, he injected the medicine into his father. In his haste, he left the syringe on the floor. His next destination was the safety of his room; however, it didn’t feel so safe anymore.

His heart pounded as he began to pace. What if they did find out? What would they think? What would they say? They would probably be so disgusted with him. Leo would disown him. Suddenly, the cure didn’t seem like a good enough reason for him to be sleeping with the enemy. They wouldn’t understand. They would ruin _everything_ he was fighting for. He needed to leave.

As Mikey scanned his room looking for items to take with him, he saw that his phone was blinking. Hesitantly he approached. It was from Sacks. “Come home.” Was all it said.

In hindsight, the drugs were heightening his anxiety and preventing him from thinking anything through. A purposeful manipulation by Sacks. He turned and without looking back, Mikey left everything behind. Sacks had been watching his vitals and knew that he was scared and vulnerable. It was the perfect storm.

Tears blurred Mikey’s vision, but he knew where he was going. The darkness seemed to urge him on. He couldn’t face them if they found out. Mikey was so terrified of losing his brothers that he was running right towards the enemy without considering the consequences.

The guard did not check him for weapons when he burst through the door and the escort was not there to guide him.

Mikey fell hard to his knees a few steps into the penthouse. He was panting hard and his face was covered in tears. Mikey was grappling with the situation when a set of polished shoes came into view. It was all wrong!

It was all just so surreal. Why were bad things always happening to him? He tried to do good, he tried to _be_ good, but it seemed he was destined to be something else entirely.

“What happened?” Sacks asked after allowing the turtle a minute to collect himself.

“They…they were g-going to follow me.” He began voice trembling horribly, the doors opened again behind him, but he paid it no mind, “they noticed I was leaving and they-,”

Sacks kneeled down in front of Mikey. The men gently tilted Mikey’s head upwards and gave a slight nod. Cold metal snapped around Mikey’s neck and he flinched as little spikes pushed into his skin. The guard who had put the collar on Mikey quickly stepped out of the way as he jumped to his feet and yanked on the unrelenting metal.

“What is this?!” He cried, glaring at Sacks in horror and confusion.

The man replied first by lifting a little remote in the air for Mikey to see, then he explained, “it’s a shock collar and it is capable of causing you great amounts of pain or knocking you unconscious anytime I see fit.”

Dozens of things came rushing to Mikey’s head. He wanted to scream at Sacks for betraying him. But the words never left his mouth. Mikey knew this was going to happen. A life for a life, right? The devil was only collecting what he paid for. Still, Mikey felt cornered and he couldn’t help a snarl from rising in his chest. The guards lifted their weapons in response.

“You will go with them and you won’t give them any trouble.” Sacks ordered, gesturing at the guards behind Mikey.

The turtle hardly heard what he said. His brain was abuzz with the need to fight – the need to do something other than obediently follow orders. He knew there was no chance of winning, but the impending satisfaction of being defiant was too tempting. Mikey leaped at Sacks and landed a vicious left hook into his jaw and then there was nothing.

x.X.x.X.x

April stayed the night; Leo and she had planned to sit Donnie and Raph down in the morning and explain to them what the plan was. The whole family needed to be on board if this was going to work. She and Leo had theorized what Mikey could be doing when he leaves the Lair. It was difficult to settle on a handful of possibilities given that Mikey was as unpredictable as they came at the best of times. However, given Mikey’s drastic changes, the pair decided that it was best to prepare for the worst.

Their plan was simple. The three older turtles would follow Mikey when he left the Lair that night, find out what he was doing, catch him in the act, and bring him home. Casey and April would be waiting there, and they would have an intervention of sorts. This was, of course, dependent on what type of trouble Mikey was getting into. Nevertheless, Leo was never more certain that they were going to bring Mikey home safe. They were all still dealing with the rapid descent of one member of the family, they didn’t need another one to go down.

Leo was awoken by Donnie mumbling something as he examined Master Splinter. The eldest blinked the sleep away and delicately rolled his shoulders Sleeping upright leaning against the wall wasn’t good for his neck and back, neither was only getting 5 – 6 hours.

“Everything okay?” Leo inquired; his voice was heavy with sleep.

“Yeah, everything is great,” Donnie replied, “amazing actually, Splinter’s stats are stable, and his fever has broken completely.”

“That is so good to hear,” Leo muttered, rubbing a hand down his face. They all desperately needed some good news. Donnie leaned forward and his knee bumped into something on the floor by Master Splinter’s side.

He glanced down and then he hesitated, “what is this?”

Leo frowned when he saw the empty syringe in Donnie’s hand. “It isn’t one of yours?”

“No,” Donnie’s eyes were wide with panic and fear, “it’s from TCRI.” He turned it to show Leo the letters printed on the side of the glass.

Leo's heart pounded in his chest as he shot to his feet. Something clicked in the leader’s head, “Mikey,” he breathed, “Mikey!” He yelled as he sprinted from the room and towards the bedrooms. “Mikey!”

“What is going on?” April muttered as she emerged from the guest room. She caught Leo as he was leaving Mikey’s barren room emptyhanded.

“TCRI,” Leo panted, “He’s been going to TCRI.”

“What!?”

“Who? The fuck’s going on?” Raph grumbled, walking into the hall maskless and groggy from sleep. 

Before Leo could explain, Donnie was calling to them from the doorway of Splinter's room. “His phone is still here, over by the Pacman game!”

Raph, Leo, and April quickly followed Donnie’s directions but only found an empty corner.

“There’s nothing here, Donnie!”

“Up there!”

Raph and Leo followed April’s point to the ceiling.

“I don’t think we’ll fit, April-?” She was already climbing the pipe and pulling herself up into the room. The lights were still on.

“This is definitely Mikey’s room, but no Mikey!” She called down to them.

“Try to find his phone!”

A moment later she reached down to hand Leo Mikey’s phone, “I’ll look for more clues,” she explained before disappearing again.

Leo quickly swiped opened the device and his heart dropped when he saw who the last message was from. He was at a complete loss for words. Raph, too impatient to wait for Leo to collect himself, peered over his shoulder and his veins went cold.

The last message Mikey received was from Eric Sacks and it read, “Come home”.

“His bed isn’t warm, so I don’t think he slept here,” April informed them as she climbed back down through the hole. Dread filled her soul when she saw the mirrored looks of horror on the brother's faces. “What is it? What did you find?”

Leo shook his head, desperately trying to clear it of all the grief so he could focus. “Eric Sacks, he has been communicating with Eric Sacks.” Leo’s voice almost broke. “That’s where the vial came from.”

“Vial, what vial?” Raph demanded

“Guys! Master Splinter is awake!”

The trio ran towards Donnie who was grinning from ear to ear. They piled into the room and relief exploded around them when they found the old Rat’s eyes open and a gentle smile on his face.

“Sensei,” Leo breathed, bowing his head in astonishment. His father hadn’t been conscious in weeks.

April wiped a few stray tears, “it is so good to see you awake.”

“My sons, April,” Splinter smiled, his voice hoarse from lack of use. “it is so good to see you.” There was a beautifully comfortable moment of silence. “Where is Michelangelo?" The air in the room cooled and April hugged herself shamefully. “My sons. Where is Michelangelo?” He repeated, his voice hardened.

“With Eric Sacks. Somewhere, maybe at TCRI.”

“Then what are you waiting for? Go get him!” The old rat ordered.

“But Master-.”

“That is an order, Leonardo. I’ll be fine. Go.”

The leader in blue nodded and the team dispersed into the main Lair. Donnie was mumbling to himself as he headed for the command module. “The cameras in the tunnels are limited, but we can see in what direction he went when he left.” The feed was quickly pulled up and it took him only 30 seconds to find footage of Mikey leaving the Lair. The genius shuddered at the sight of his little brother fleeing their home so frantically.

Leo and Raph returned to their brother with their gear on. “Which way did he go, Donnie?”

“He went left down the southwest tunnel and that’s all the cameras can see. But if he kept going, he would end up right under TCRI.”

“Then let’s go, April-.”

She nodded, “I’ll stay here. Please, bring him home.”

The brothers left the Lair in a hurry, just as Mikey had earlier that morning.

“So, you gonna catch me the fuck up, Leo?” Raph snarled after a minute or two of running. Donnie silently concurred with his brother.

“A week ago, I caught Mikey sneaking out-.”

“And you didn’t think to fucking tell me!?” Raph yelled, looking like he wanted to strangle his only older brother.

“April told me he was with her!” Then after a pause, “she lied.”

“Why would she do that?” Donnie asked quietly, seemingly more to himself than his brothers.

“She owned up to it last night and we were planning to follow him when he left tonight.”

“Okay, so what’s with this vial?” Raph continued, calming slightly now that he knew more of the story.

“We found a TCRI empty syringe beside Splinter this morning.”

“You think Mikey brought that in?”

“I would have been notified if anyone other than us and April had entered the Lair. It was him.” Donnie added, his voice firming up as his resolve hardened. He was absolutely furious at his little brother, but at the same time, he was terrified that they might lose him.

The siblings ran in silence for a while and then a small light appeared in the distance. They slowed down and Donnie dropped his goggles over his eyes. “There is a camera up there.”

“Up where?” Leo glared into the darkness, trying to discern anything other than the walls.

“Up the ladder. We are directly below TCRI.”

Raph bristled and he twirled his sais in anticipation. “We going up or what?”

“There is a door at the top which can only be opened from the inside,” Donnie added, his nose downturned at his wrist-mounted device.

“Then we break it down!”

“We need a plan, Raphael. We need to be careful to not reveal we are onto Mikey. He might be in danger.” Leo finally fell into Leader mode and he was able to look at the situation with a clear head. “We should head up top and watch TCRI from all sides, looking for activity.”

Donnie nodded in agreement, “If we get close enough, I can hack into the TCRI security system and I can search for Mikey.”

Raph didn’t argue, but his muscles were still taut with the need to bash someone’s head in. The trio silently found the next manhole and slipped into the night. With a nod from their leader, the three split up and moved in three different directions. Donnie set up post opposite the main entrance of the building and quickly got to work breaking down the TCRI firewalls. They were strong, but not strong enough to protect them from Mikey’s ingenious and viciously protective brother.

He set up an algorithm to run through hours of recorded footage looking for his brother while he manually looking through live feeds. Leo set up post outside the delivery entrance and Raph watched the main emergency exit. Never had it been so obvious that one of them was missing. It was far too quiet, even with healthy traffic below.

Donnie frowned when his algorithm came back with a positive match from yesterday and an error at the same time. It seemed that the footage was restricted, even to security personal. Donnie quickly infected the firewall with a virus and watched with satisfaction as it gradually broke down and revealed to him the second terminal of cameras, all of which were located on the top floor.

Donatello watched with confusion as Mikey and Sacks silently interacted in front of him. They were just _chatting_ at the entrance of the penthouse. What the hell was Mikey doing?!

Then, in horror, Donnie watched Mikey follow Sacks into a bedroom. No, no, no, this wasn’t happening. No, this wasn’t happening!

His fingers clenched and unclenched with the need to turn off the feed, but he needed to know. Tears began to fall down Donnie’s face when Mikey allowed himself to be restrained and then….

Donnie screamed out in agony, frustration, and grief. It echoed around him, but he was too high for anyone on the street below to hear him. Everything fell into place for the genius. The lack of foot clan activity, the cure for their father, Mikey’s deteriorating state. Desperately, the genius turtle tried to reign his emotions in, but he had never felt so broken in his life. How could this happen? Why had he not been there for his brother? How could he feel that this was worth it? There was so much guilt that he felt suffocated.

His algorithm continued to run through and save hours of footage to his home computer. Nevertheless, the secret was out, and Donnie had never wanted to kill someone more in his life. With trembling hands, he pressed the com on his headset to speak to his brothers.

He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

“Donnie?” Leo replied after a moment of silence. “Did you find anything?”

“Top floor. S’where Mikey goes.” Donnie finally managed to squeak out, he made no attempt to hide the cracks in his voice. There was no internal discussion about whether or not this was a good time to tell his family. There would never be a good time and his brothers needed to know. “I did find out what he is doing though.”

“Just tell us already!” Raph quipped impatiently.

“Mikey is letting Sacks rape him in exchange for our protection and the cure for Splinter.”

There was dead silence and Donnie let go of the comm. He felt less suffocated now that his brothers held the same weight of knowing. He sent off a message to April to ask if Mikey had returned. He got a swift reply in the negative.

“Donnie,” Leo’s voice finally broke radio silence, “what is the easiest way to get to the top floor without being seen?” There was something equally as broken in Leo’s tone.

“Climbing up the outside onto the external balcony.” He explained, wiping tears from his eyes in preparation for what he knew was about to be ordered.

“Then let’s go, boys! Let’s go get Mikey!” Leo demanded over the comm and Donnie shot forward just as he knew his other brothers had as well. He grappled to the glass about five floors up and began a rapid ascend upwards. Leo and Raph had to rely on physical strength to pull them from window ledge to window ledge, while Donatello could continue to use his grapple to throw himself upwards 5 floors at a time.

About halfway up the 100-floor building, a helicopter flew overhead and swiftly began to land on top of TCRI. The turtles frantically pushed themselves to climb even faster to where their little brother most likely was. Donnie reached the balcony first and violently threw himself into the locked balcony doors which easily gave way to his armored shell. He didn’t feel any of the lacerations that resulted from the shattering glass. His only focus was the guards dressed all in black with military-grade weapons pointed at him.

Donnie took a fighting stance and grabbed his bo. He was usually a pacifist, but his only intention here was to murder everyone in sight. He didn’t hear his brothers join the battle; he was far too busy cracking skulls. The guards kept coming from a particular direction, so that is where the turtles went. By the time the stairs to the roof were cleared, Raphael and Leonardo were covered in blood from ruthlessly severing body parts and arteries. There would be no survivors.

Leo led them up to the roof, weapons still at the ready. “Mikey!!” He screamed, seeing a flash of green inside the helicopter as the door slid closed. The three of them sprinted towards the ascending chopper. Desperately, Donnie loaded his grapple with a tracker. Just before the helicopter escaped range, he shot the tracker and it embedded itself in the bottom of the tail. It rapidly disappeared into the dark sky above, taking their beloved sibling with it.

Leo’s katana clattered to the cement below. He fell to his knees between them and watched in absolute horror and agony as the helicopter flew away. “No,” he whispered as the tears began to fall, “NO!” he slammed the fist into the concrete roof and sobbed brokenly.

Donnie collapsed with an arm wrapped around Leo’s shell just as the sky began to cry with them. Raphael didn’t know what to do with all the emotions and pain. There were no more people to kill. Nowhere to run. Nothing to do. He felt like he was going to faint. His breathing became erratic and he dug his fingernails into his scalp as he desperately tried to shake something loose.

Unable to contain it any longer, Raph screamed into the sky until his voice was hoarse and he dropped to his knees. The clouds brightened and thunder rumbled, as if in response to the agony of the brothers.

The guilt was so thick it created a wall that threatened to separate them. That would not happen, however. Because underneath all the pain was anger that burned hot enough to melt hell.

Nobody, messed, with Mikey.


	3. Wake Me Up When It's All Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mikey,”
> 
> “Mikey, you have to wake up.”
> 
> Who was that? He sounded so familiar, like a memory he could reach but not quite hold.
> 
> “Mikey, please, you have to wake up, you have to keep fighting.”
> 
> The beautiful darkness was torn from him and he found himself sput

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is by no means a full list of the sufferings Mikey endured. The point of sectioning off these specific incidents will be revealed in later chapters. Additionally, other tortures from Mikey’s time in captivity will be touched on later when they become more important.

**Hiraeth**

A Welsh word meaning a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return; a home which maybe never was.

x.X.x.X.x

**Day 1**

Mikey groaned as he began to awaken. His body felt heavy and it tingled with piercing pain. The soft ground below him did nothing to soothe the aches. Opening his eyes was completely out of the question, the brightness penetrated his eyelids and caused the turtle to burry his face in his arm. The hell was going on?

The sensitivity to light gradually faded and he was able to flutter his eyes open. Below the green of his arm was soft beige sand and he frowned in confusion. Sand? In New York? His head pounded in protest when he pushed himself upwards, but the panic building in his chest urged him onward.

Baby blues focused in on brown bark a few feet in front of him. Trees. A collection of twenty or so trees were clustered together like a miniature forest. He reached out to touch the bark, it felt real. So did the sand. Mikey’s muscles trembled but it wasn’t enough to stop him from climbing to his feet. His sweatpants and sweater had been replaced by a pair of black water shorts. All of his accessories were removed, including his shoes. He wiggled his toes in the warm sand in disbelief and uncertainty.

Fear gripped him at the thought of turning around to see his other surroundings. He sucked in a breath through his teeth and glanced over his tense shoulder. A large heating lamp hung from the center of the spacious room. Against the far wall was a large body of water more spacious than the area of land. _And that was it_. The walls were made of darkened glass – two-way glass. It was a _cage_. Mikey did nothing to stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks at the sharp realization.

How had things spiraled so far out of control? He just wanted to protect his family. He slumped down with his shell against one of the – maybe – real trees. He leaned his head back and swiped a finger over his temple in a fruitless attempt to soothe his migraine. The shock collar really did knock him on his ass. He barely remembered the night before, including how he got here. Wherever here was.

His stark sobriety was making the situation even more difficult to square with. Mikey was beginning to feel the effects of withdrawal. A chill ran through him despite the warmth, the least Sacks could do was keep him loaded.

Speaking of, a buzz filled the habitat and a section of glass slid into the ground to Mikey’s right. The turtle did nothing to get up and hardly spared the person a glanced.

“Good morning, Michelangelo.”

Mikey looked down at his feet with his brows tightly knitted together; his hatred for the man was bone-deep.

“Don’t be like that. Where is the smile you had for me last night?”

The collar sparked and Mikey seized temporarily against the minor assault.

“What do you want from me?” He snarled, failing to contain his anger, “is the cage really necessary?”

Sacks hummed in consideration, “would you rather be kept outside on a chain?”

“I’m not a dog!”

“No. But you are my pet and I do not have to keep you so comfortable.” Mikey was rendered speechless. His _pet_? Was he serious?

Then again, he _was_ wearing a collar and locked in a cage. Sacks brushed his thumb over the remote as he continued, “but you are still going to have to do things around here. Earn your food and water.”

“I won’t do _anything_ for you!” Mikey cried out as a harsher shock ripped through him. He crumpled down onto his side and curled his limbs inward in an attempt to protect them.

“You will do anything asked of you. Am I clear?”

Mikey wanted very much to tell the human to go fuck himself, but all he managed was a whimper.

“You should know by now that I am a man of my word. Your tracking chip showed me exactly where your brothers and father are. If you continue to misbehave, I’ll have my men gas the place while they sleep.”

A broken sob rocked Mikey’s frame and he hid his face in the crook of his arm. He wanted so badly to be back with his brothers and his father. Even though they were absent and busy with their own things, at least they were always close by. Mikey didn’t even know if the injection had worked. Was his father okay?

“Get up,” Sacks demanded, in a tone that Mikey knew meant there was no room for argument. Swallowing the last of his pride, Mikey did as instructed and lifted his abused body upward until his feet were flat against the ground. The turtle followed Sacks out of the room with an arm tucked protectively across his plastron. He hurt _everywhere_.

A blast of uncomfortably cool air was his first greeting upon stepping out of his cell. He shuddered when he saw the several men in lab coats scattered around the enclosure. Even when in Sacks lab years ago he hadn’t felt so much like a lab experiment. It made Mikey feel so ashamed.

A little voice in the back of his mind spoke up and reminded him that he was doing this, “ _for your brothers_.” His spine straightened a little as they continued out of the room. Three guards followed them. Two flanking him and one following behind. Mikey didn’t know why that was necessary considering the effectiveness of the shock collar, but he wasn’t about to bring that complaint up to anyone.

They silently paced into a hallway with windows along each side. Mikey looked out at the dark clouds in desperation as if they might know what to do. They didn’t answer and Mikey muttered a soft, “me neither.”

There was a heavy door blocking their path and Sacks scanned them in. Mikey hesitated too long and his shell was pushed. He stumbled a few steps but managed to stay upright. It looked as if he had just stepped into a hospital, and the deeper they went the more it began to look like a mad scientist’s lab. They came upon another door and instead of leading them through, Sacks stopped and turned to Mikey.

The collar buzzed slightly, and he forced himself through the door. There was a large metal table in the center of the room. Surrounding it were several other tables with various items on them. Some looked dangerous, others were confusing. Mikey reached up to tug on his necklace only to be reminded that it had been taken. Instead, he knocked his knuckles together and his tail twitched restlessly behind him.

“On the table,” Sacks ordered with his usual brand of creepy emotionlessness.

Mikey felt his stomach drop when he noticed the restraints that were surely put there just for him. Something told him they weren’t going to take blood and biopsy samples this time.

x.X.x.X.x

Leo couldn’t meditate.

He tried to use measured breaths to calm himself, but nothing could stop the tears or the guilt. It was so potent that he swore he could feel it sitting in his chest. Splinter had not taken the news of his missing son well. The old rat had gone silent and then asked to be left alone to meditate.

For the first time in his life, Leo wanted to argue with their father. He wanted to snap at Splinter to tell them what to do, the rat was wise and always knew how to handle situations that Leo couldn’t. Donnie and Raph had silently slipped out of the room while Leo lingered for a second longer. He had expected his father to express his disappointment in the eldest. But instead, there was something worse. Absolute heartbreak. The kind that left no room for apologies or reunion, it was permanent.

Donnie had quickly disappeared into his lab so he could track the helicopter. It was heading southwest. He kept trying to focus on writing up a timeline for the events of the previous night, but the tears kept blurring his vision. Eventually, he got frustrated and buried his face into his hands. His glasses fell uselessly to his desk and he paid them no mind.

The image of Sacks raping Mikey would not leave his mind. There had been no sound, but he could _hear_ the scream that no doubtable came out of Mikey when Sacks-.

“Donnie,”

The genius turtle tilted his head to the side enough to see the blue of his brother’s bandanna through his blurred gaze. Donatello had always held his brother to a high regard. He held a responsibility that none of them could comprehend while remaining calm and stoic. But now? To hear his brother’s voice crack in such a way brought on a new wave of sadness and Donnie sobbed.

“Come on,” Leo grabbed Donnie’s arm and encouraged him to stand. He trembled, but Donnie stood and followed his brother into the living room. It was there that they found Raphael. The bulkiest of the turtles was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands, much like Donnie had been.

From the corner of the room, April approached the brothers with an orange blanket in her hands. Donnie sobbed again when he realized that she had climbed up into Mikey’s room to grab it. Raph took the blanket and he looked down on it like it was their little brother himself.

“Fuck!” Raph snapped, falling to his knees on the floor, holding the blanket like it was his lifeline. Donnie and Leo slid down to sit beside him. They sat knee to knee and cradled the blanket between them. It smelled so strongly of Mikey that it felt like he was still there.

How long had it been since Mikey had _really_ been there? How long since Mikey actually felt comfortable and protected in their home? Donnie broke down into erratic sobs and he buried his face in the blanket. Despite himself, Raph did too. He tried to cut them off with gruff curse words, but the pain was too strong for him to suppress the agony. Leo’s head was bowed towards the blanket, tears continued to stream down his cheeks and down onto the fabric.

April joined them, squishing herself between Raph and Donnie. They didn’t hesitate to lean into her just as she did them. No one spoke or moved for hours. No words could ever properly grasp their pain. Yet, they all knew that their pain paled in comparison to what Mikey had gone through. What he must _be_ going through.

x.X.x.X.x

**Day 7**

Mikey screamed and desperately yanked on the metal chains holding him down. He could no longer formulate words, the white-hot pain overrode his executive functions, leaving him acting on basic instinct alone. He didn’t feel the rough material of the men’s gloved hands on his flesh, or the IV in his arm as it was violently ripped out. The doctors didn’t dare to approach to try and put it back in.

For all he was worth, the young turtle flailed in absolute need to get away from the one causing him so much pain. The guards grunted as they struggled to hold Mikey’s hips down, he was much stronger than his malnourished frame would suggest. Blood coated the inside of Mikey’s thighs and the metal bed beneath him.

The sharpened clippers sliced him a little deeper and Mikey screamed loud enough to cause the surrounding men to flinch. The thicker side of the clippers embedded itself into the bone and Mikey thought he was going to faint. Sacks was going to cut it off!

Just shy of slicing completely through the thick organ, the clippers were taken away and the guards lifted their hold. The doctors then quickly jolted forward and pinched the severed arteries in Mikey’s tail. Three inches of the end of it hung on by a thin chunk of muscle and tissue. Sacks’, covered in blood, rounded the table to look Mikey in the eye.

“My patience has been worn down to a thread, pet. I don’t think I need to explain what will happen should you push me again.”

x.X.x.X.x

Donnie tracked the helicopter to military airspace in south Texas, close to the Mexican border. Because of the air restrictions, he couldn’t remotely hack into their security. He would need to actually be there to do that. The three remaining brothers were ready and willing to hope in the turtle truck and head down there themselves. No plan, just a direction, and the desperate need for their brother.

April stopped that before the news reached Splinter. “We need time to develop a strategy,” she begged.

“While we sit here, Mikey could be-!” Raph couldn’t finish the sentence. Donnie lowered his head and wiped away a fresh set of tears. Leo hooked his arm around his taller brothers’ shoulders and brought the sides of their heads together in silent comfort.

“We need a plan.” April whispered, tucking herself against the two brothers who responded in kind. She grabbed Raphael’s hand and pulled him in as well. Raph’s exterior shattered immediately and he curled against his siblings and April. They stood in silence, praying for Mikey’s safety and a quick solution to get him back.

x.X.x.X.x

**Day 17**

Mikey had never received such a beating, not even when he went head to head with the Shredder. And it was all because Mikey refused to eat off the ground. Four guards were brought into his cage and they were allowed five uninterrupted minutes to beat him with their bare hands and _holy fuck_ did they leave a mark. Mikey wasn’t sure there was an unbroken bone in his body.

He silently sobbed against the soft sand. The vicious throb in his healing tail prevented him from fighting back in fear he might lose it. So, all he could do was curl up and try to protect his head. At the end of it all, he still was forced to eat sand-covered food with his mouth. It made his stomach roll and he was convinced it had been poisoned.

For the rest of the night, all he could wonder was, what was the point? Was the end goal to kill Mikey as slowly as possible? If so, Mikey would find himself a gun or a blade and do it himself.

x.X.x.X.x

The room was completely devoid of movement or sound. It was as if the air itself had stopped breathing. The turtles kneeled with their heads bowed in front of their father.

“…are you sure about this?”

“Yes, sensei. Donnie saw the security video. Sacks r-raped Mikey. Probably more than once.” Leonardo couldn’t look his father in the eye. Again, he wondered how he could have failed his brothers so thoroughly. He was trusted with being their leader and he-.

“It is not your fault.”

Leo breathed a dry chuckled and looked like he wanted to argue, but all he could do was shake his head as the tears began to fall again.

“You could tear yourself apart looking at all the details you should have seen and should have acted upon. But you could not have known that this was what Michelangelo was doing.”

“But Sensei-.”

“You were distracted, everyone was. You cannot be expected to catch everything. And no one expected this of your brother.” Truthfully, the old rat was having a difficult time wrapping his mind around the information his sons were giving him. “Things like this do not escalate quickly. Eric Sacks has had a hold on Michelangelo for a long time. He deliberately alienated him from us.”

Leo pressed his palm to his mouth to hush a sob. How long had Mikey been suffering through this alone? Leo couldn’t imagine the agony Sacks caused his baby brother.

“Hindsight is a good tool to help us learn, but there is nothing to learn from using it to blame ourselves. We can only move forward. For you, Donatello, Raphael, and especially for Michelangelo. We will find him. I promise you, my son, we will find him.”

x.X.x.X.x

**Day 28**

Screams no longer passed his lips. Blood dripped from his tongue with every heaved exhale. Mikey couldn’t breathe yet breathing was all he could do. The doctors were currently cutting chunks of Mikey’s shell from his back. The bone drills took a while to get through the armour, but the men were patient.

Instead of using physical restraints to keep Mikey still, they gave him a paralytic. This effectively prevented him from moving while forcing him to feel everything that was done to him. To add insult to injury, they placed the chunks in front of Mikey’s face so he could see them. The unique pattern of his shell looked dull, like a dead body.

His eyes were puffy and raw from crying, but the tears kept coming. That was all Mikey seemed to be doing lately. Breathing and crying.

There was no reprieve when the doctors pulled back, for they returned a moment later with large needles intended to puncture his spinal cord. Whatever they were injecting into him, it burned like lava. Mikey chocked on a mouthful of blood from his vocal cords as another wave of agony poured over him. He was shocked he could still feel anything.

x.X.x.X.x

“Are you sure about this?” Raphael finally broke the silence between the four of them. April nodded her head with the strongest sense of certainty any of them had had in a while.

“We need to have Chief Vincent on our side. If we can get her to investigate Sacks, she might be able to put him away for life.”

“You mean like last time?” Raph scoffed.

“Sacks deserves to die.” The absolute malice in Donnie’s tone took all of them back, but not because they disagreed. To see the calmest of them so determine to cause pain hardened their resolve as a unit. They needed as many people and as many resources behind them as they could get. Sacks had clearly rebuilt an army around him in the two years since his release.

They needed to be smart, otherwise, he could slip through their fingers and they may never find Mikey. The brothers shared a moment of pause to ready themselves. Then they headed topside. They had a meeting with Chief Vincent.

x.X.x.X.x

**Day 45**

The scores of invasive procedures Mikey’s body had been put through prevented him from eating properly. He had been receiving nutrients via IV lines for the most part or force-feed liquid foods to keep him alive. Now, however, Mikey was out of the ICU and back in his enclosure. He laid on his plastron to alleviate extra stress on his growing shell. Whatever it had been that was injected into him, it was causing his shell to grow back differently. It felt more flexible and lighter, it felt _wrong_.

He had overheard the doctors saying that it was developing just as they envisioned. This, hopefully, meant that the painful healing was almost over.

The door buzzed open and Mikey obediently looked over to see who had entered. If it was a guard, he was being taken for a check-up, if it was Sacks, he was in for some new form of hell. He flinched when he realized it was the latter.

“Hello, Michelangelo.”

Mikey’s vocal cords hadn’t healed completely yet, and Sacks showed a minor amount of mercy by not forcing him to verbally reply. The human knelled down and stroked his hand over the top of Mikey’s head. An act that might have been comforting had he been someone else. Instead, it reminded Mikey that he was owned. He knew that he was no longer his own person and he might never be free again.

Sacks eyes gleamed in delight, Mikey was breaking, and he was just a little push away from complete destruction. “Do you want something?” He lifted his hand to show Mikey the two glorious white pills.

Mikey licked his lips and expectantly leaned forward to take the ‘medicine’. Sacks pulled his hand away before Mikey could claim the pills. “You just need to tell me one thing,” there was a glint of sadism in the human’s eyes, “tell me your brothers are never coming to get you.”

Mikey’s chest tightened painfully into a knot right above his heart. His brothers. His beloved family. His traumatized mind had pushed them away in favor of fighting to stay sane in the wake of such torture. The memory of them was fuzzy at best and he couldn’t focus on any details. Names were scarce, he sometimes remembered them and sometimes didn’t, but the feelings were still there. His family loved them, didn’t they? Why else would he yearn for them so much?

Nevertheless, whether he liked it or not, Mikey wanted those pills more than he wanted to remember the family he once had. “They-,” Mikey bowed his head to cough, his tongue was dry from lack of proper hydration in the warm cage. “They are not….coming for me.”

“Good boy,” Sacks purred, allowing the pills to roll into Mikey’s eager mouth. He was definitely cracking.

x.X.x.X.x

“Eric Sacks took your brother,” Vincent repeated, trying to comprehend the information she was being given. “How do you know this?”

“We found evidence that Sacks was manipulating Mikey into doing things for him,” Leo explained, his chest was already tightening with the pain talking about this brought on.

“How was he doing this?”

“Looking back through Mikey’s phone messages, I can conclude that almost a year ago, Sacks cornered Mikey and threatened our lives if he did not cooperate.” Donnie filled in, adjusting his glasses.

Chief Vincent leaned back in her chair and nodded as she absorbed the news. “And this escalated to a full-scale kidnapping? How?”

There was a brief glance between the brothers, each one begging the others to fill in that blank. It was important that she knew, they just could not handle being the one to say it.

“Splinter fell ill.” April began, directing her full attention to the Chief. “Sacks offered Mikey a potential cure for him.”

“I am so sorry to hear about your father. What evidence do you have of this interaction?”

Donnie felt he could speak up about this, he slid Mikey’s phone over to her to show her the texts he had saved, “He and Sacks have been communicating regularly. The night before Mikey was kidnapped, Sacks told him that the cure was ready and to come get it.”

Vincent took a moment to read through the list of important messages. She then hesitated on the last one, “come home?” She looked up at the group for clarification.

“We think that was part of the manipulation,” Leo began before clearing his throat to stop his voice from cracking, “Mikey left of his own accord back to TCRI after the message was received.”

“Forgive me for asking, I need to be clear,” she stressed softly, “but how do you know that this relationship wasn’t consensual?”

Raph bristled and his fingers cracked as his hands pulled into tight fists. April took one for the team and revealed the truth. “Donnie hacked into TCRI cameras inside Sacks apartment,” They knew that it was illegal and Donnie could get in trouble, but that wasn't important right now. Donnie had already made it perfectly clear that he would rather spend the rest of his life in jail if it meant that Mikey would be free, safe, and alive. “The tapes revealed that Sacks has been sexually abusing Mikey almost every night for the past year, if not longer.”

Chief Vincent bowed her head. She had gotten to know the turtles fairly well since they took down Krang together, and the thought of the youngest being abused in such a way made her heartache.

“Mikey was willing to do whatever it took to protect us. And save Splinter’s life. But that doesn’t mean that it was consensual.” Leo added, straining to keep his eyes from boring holes into the table. He had to be strong, for his brothers.

“The tapes also show Sacks giving Mikey unidentified pills.” April added quietly, “whatever they were, Mikey only agreed to do what Sacks wanted when on them.”

Vincent took a few seconds to gauge the room. She was used to being lied to by criminals looking to cheat or use the system, but that wasn’t what was happening here. These boys had always strengthened and empowered law enforcement in New York. They had saved the world twice and now; they were asking for help. There was no way she was going to let them down. She would do all she could to help them get Mikey back, even if it all had to be done off the books.

“Eric Sacks is still on probation. This means that he is subject to random visits from a PO at any time. I am going to start by sending one to his residence. In the meantime, Donatello, I want to see those tapes, please.”

Relief filtered into the room like a breath of fresh air. The genius nodded with a hint of a smile on his face. There was still some hope left.

x.X.x.X.x

**Day 58-61**

The cold continued to relentlessly nip at him. His fingers and toes had lost feeling long ago, but there was plenty of him left to suffer the horrid conditions. He must have been hanging there for hours, maybe days?

Mikey had figured that his wrists would eventually snap from his full body weight being hung on them, but they obviously hadn’t given that his feet still didn’t reach the ground. The hunger wasn’t so bad, he was used to that. But the silence was maddening. Without the hum of the heating lamp and constant in and outs of guards, physicians, and Sacks, he felt _lonely_. Not lonely enough to want for Sacks or his pathetic crew of assholes, but lonely enough to long for who he used to be.

A happy thought hadn’t crossed his mind in so long, he had forgotten what it felt like. There was only pain here. Somewhere in his mind, he knew that Sacks was trying to destroy him completely, inside and out, and that giving in would make the pain stop. However, there was something that kept him from letting that line be crossed.

Late at night, that ‘ _something’_ often sounded like Leo. His faux brother would tell him to stay strong and remind him that his family was fighting to find him. In the lab, that ‘ _something’_ tended to sound like Donnie explaining to him that pain was mostly mental and that it could be blocked out. When face to face with the guards, that ‘ _something’_ sounded like Raph telling him that no one could destroy what was on the inside, no matter what happened to the outside. And when forced into Sacks bed, that ‘ _something’_ sounded like his old self who could rationalize the suffering because it was for his family.

These thin, fraying threads were all that was left of Mikey’s sanity. And with each passing day, the beautiful ‘ _something’s’_ grew quieter. Almost as if they were giving up on Mikey too. He got tired of looking at the darkness and despite knowing he couldn’t fall asleep; he allowed his heavy eyes to close.

x.X.x.X.x

Chief Vincent took a day and a half to get back to the brothers after Donatello sent her the tapes from Sacks penthouse. They feared, at first, that she might have changed her mind when in reality, she was fighting to control her rage and remain professional. Eric Sacks was not a good person. She had met him on one or two occasions briefly when he was released, and those short interactions told her that he was a very dangerous man. And now she knew that she had underestimated him.

For him to have gotten Mikey to the point of being willing to sacrifice his life for what could have easily been a fake cure, he had to have seriously compromised Mikey’s mental health. This greatly concerned her. From the timestamps on the tapes, it had been almost three months since Mikey had been seen and they still had no idea where he was.

She felt an intense urgency to get to the youngest turtle as quickly as possible.

x.X.x.X.x

**Day 92**

Mikey’s body was covered in a multitude of different marks and scars. So many that the guards mockingly began to call him ‘Tiger’ because they looked like stripes. Fresh wounds were few and far between at this point. His resistance and overall defiance had withered away to almost nothing. It took quite a lot of taunting to bring out any sort of reaction from Mikey.

His shell had completely grown over. It was much thinner than it had been before and it was covered in razor-sharp spikes that pointed downward in scythe-like curves. It would have been more difficult to hold him down had Mikey still been fighting. Sacks had been rather absent the past few weeks. Mikey couldn’t say that he missed him.

His owner tended to make his presence known to the terrapin and have him sent to his bed every night he was at the compound. Otherwise, Mikey was mostly left alone. Now that his tail and shell had completely healed, there was no need for extensive check-ups, and they seemed to have collected all the blood and tissue they needed for their research – for now.

Mikey preferred to sleep all day if he could. During the night, when the lights were dimmed, he would sleep in the trees where soft hay had been laid out for him. During the day, he would sleep on the shallow sand bar directly under the heating lamp. He hated the idea that he lived in a cage, but at least it was suitable for his unique needs.

Besides rhetorical taunts the guards offered him; Sacks was the only one to speak to Mikey. Thus, he had slowly fell into silence. There was no one to talk to anyway. Sometimes he would hum to himself just to hear something, but he would tire of it quickly.

With a yawn, Mikey stretched out his cramping limbs and then curled back up slightly on his side in the warm water. He liked to keep his eyes closed, the black glass surrounding him filled him with dread, even at night when he knew there was no one there looking at him. His tail flickered around almost playfully in the slight waves. He thanked whatever spirit was looking out for him that it was still attached. It felt so nice when it was caressed, even when it was Sacks doing it. The little pleasures were all he had to look forward to.

A bit of water slipped into his mouth when he exhaled heavily, and he left it in there. His tongue lapped at the liquid absentmindedly. How nice would it be to simply merge with the water and float along without care? No more pain, no more Sacks.

Baby blues blinked open when the idea materialized in his mind. Should he? _Could_ he? His body seemed to act on its own. His mouth open and he deeply inhaled as much water as his lungs could take. A mild subconscious struggle ensued; Mikey may not have wanted to continue living, but his body did.

Then, he was floating.

It was him, the darkness, and the quiet. While before it had been crushing to be stuck in such a state, here he felt free. There was no pain, no uncertainty about his future, or his family. He could just float along without suffering.

_“Mikey,”_

_“Mikey, you have to wake up.”_

Who was that? He sounded so familiar, like a memory he could reach but not quite hold.

_“Mikey, please, you have to wake up, you have to keep fighting.”_

The beautiful darkness was torn from him and he found himself sputtering and coughing harshly on the sand of his cage. The first person he saw was the lead doctor hovering after saving his life. Then there was Sacks, staring at him over the doctor’s shoulder. There was fear in the man’s eyes.

Mikey was then confronted with a confusing realization. Sacks was terrified of losing him.

That complicated things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that some of the paragraphs are indented and some are not. I just decided to leave it.


	4. Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The room was much bigger than it had seemed on the camera, but Leo did not linger to admire the view. Donnie had opened the door to Mikey’s cage and Raph rushed inside. The increase in temperature was at the back of Raph and Leo’s mind.
> 
> “Stop!” Donnie ordered over the comm, “he’s scared and looking at you Leo, say something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I am rushing through the story. Please tell me if it seems rushed! Also, please tell me what you think :) I like feedback!!
> 
> As always, check out aclassythot here and on Tumblr!

**Hiraeth**

A Welsh word meaning a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return; a home which maybe never was.

x.X.x.X.x

Chief Vincent hadn’t felt at such a loss since she was a beat cop and saw her first dead body. In her long career, she had experienced many difficult situations, but she had always known what the next step should be. But now, there didn’t seem to be an objectively right thing to do. Every option laid out in front of her was worse than the last.

Her PO officer had found Sacks at his penthouse apartment atop TCRI. In a move that surprised Vincent, Sacks had asked to speak with her directly. They met an hour later at the station. In the same interrogation room, April and Casey had been in a few years earlier, the two of them sat across from each other with two cups of fresh coffee between them.

“I was surprised to hear you wanted to speak with me,” she had smoothly begun, masking her emotions easily from him. He didn’t need to know she knew what he had done.

“Yes, well, we seem to be in an interesting situation, don’t we?” His voice was as smooth and ice-cold as ever.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“I don’t doubt that Leonardo has told you of Michelangelo’s disappearance.”

She had to take a moment to compose herself. That was the _last_ thing she expected him to say.

“I would rather come clean about everything now so that we can all begin healing.” He continued before she could process. Instead of trying to figure him out, she decided it would be best, for now, to listen to what he had to say. Their conversation was being recorded anyway; she could look it over afterward. Vincent encouraged him to continue with a nod.

“Michelangelo and I had been seeing each other for several months now.” He managed to look sheepish, “and I’m afraid it was supposed to be kept secret. He didn’t think that his brothers would understand.” Sacks ran a hand down the back of his neck and considered the table for a moment before continuing. “And I don’t blame him. I am certainly not an honorable character.”

“I’m sorry. Are you suggesting that you and Michelangelo were in a consensual sexual relationship?” Vincent couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Yes, I am. Unfortunately, he isn’t here to confirm this-.”

“Where is he?” Her voice took on a threatening undertone.

Sacks face fell slightly, and his gaze dropped to the table. “He….,” he paused, seemingly grasping at something painful, “he is dead.”

“Excuse me? Dead? What happened to him?”

Mikey’s orange bandanna was delicately set on the table between them. It was torn and had a stain of blood on it. Vincent stared down on it with thinly veiled disbelief. “He couldn’t handle the idea of his brothers confronting him about our relationship.” Tears collected in his eyes. “He killed himself.”

For the thirty minutes, Chief Vincent asked him any and every question she could to try and get more information out of him. Sacks always had an answer for everything. He was in Colorado. Sacks knew because he saw the video feed of the suicide. Mikey’s body was going to be buried in an undisclosed location that only Sacks knew about.

“You can’t deprive his family of seeing him or knowing where he is buried.” Vincent had urged, trying to get through to him.

“By law, he isn’t a citizen, and neither are his brothers. You can’t force me to bring his body here. You can’t force me to release the tapes.” Sacks had her at every turn. “His family is the cause for this tragedy, they are at fault for this.”

“Even if that was true, they are still his family; they should be able to-.”

“No.” His tone left no room for argument, but Vincent was planning to argue anyway. “And if I hear any more of this or see those turtles anywhere near my facility, I will inform the DA of your illegal tampering with TCRI security systems.”

“Eric-,”

“You may give his family his mask.” Sacks stood and turned towards the door, “I hope to never speak with you again.” Vincent watched him leave with absolute astonishment. She couldn’t make him stay; he wasn’t under arrest. She rested her face in her hands once bathed in the silence of the room.

There were several things going through her head. Particularly, was Sacks telling the truth and, how the hell was she going to break this to the boys? Whether he was telling the truth or not, Sacks had her in a noose and obviously had no problem destroying her career and possibly sending her to jail. Not to mention the fact that he could out the boys to the world.

She eventually retired to her office, but the change in scenery did nothing to help clear her mind. The more she thought about the long conversation they had the more she found evidence that he was being genuine. Why else would he make it known that he knew of her meddling? Why would he admit that he had Mikey if Mikey was still with him? There was the chance that he was trying to draw attention away from the truth, but why was he in New York when Mikey was in Colorado? And, if he knew she had the tapes, why would he draw attention to them unless he knew there was nothing illegal on them?

It was a lot to wrap her head around, and she would rather sleep on it than try to explain it to the brothers. However, if it were her sibling, she would want updates as new developments occurred. With difficulty, she called Leonardo and asked that he and his brothers meet her at her office as soon as they could. The sun had already set and thus, the boys headed out immediately, no doubt optimistic of her findings.

Her heart ached and she silently prayed for strength in this difficult moment. Vincent’s assistant peaked her head into her office and informed her that the boys were waiting in the board room for her. She promptly steeled her features, nodded her thanks, and began the too-short trek to what felt like her death. It almost felt like she had done this to them – to Mikey.

“Chief!” Leonardo greeting as soon as she stepped into the room. Three sets of eyes zeroed in on her and she felt like she was about to be interrogated. She offered them a soft smile and took a seat at the end of the table.

“Good evening. I’m sorry to drag you out here so suddenly.”

“Do you have news? About Mikey?” Donnie asked, leaning over the table with anticipation. In a normal situation, Leo would have snapped at him for being rude, but the leader was just as anxious for news.

Vincent remembered then how young they were. Boys. Much too young to suffer the scars they had, yet so ready and willing to carry more for the people of this city. Remembering to stay professional, she folded her hands on the table and began with a nod in the affirmative. “I spoke to Eric Sacks myself. He was here a few hours ago.”

“Here?” Raph looked ready to dive through the door to try to find him.

“Yes, he isn’t here anymore. He wanted to speak with me after the visit from his PO.” The air in the room was so thick. Vincent swallowed and forced herself to make eye contact with each of them. “He claims that Michelangelo is dead.”

‘Dea-d!?” Donnie stuttered, eyes wide and expression horrified.

“There’s no way he’s dead.” Raph snickered like it was a joke. “Why would he say _that_?”

Leo was silent, so horribly silent and his head was tilted down towards the table. Vincent wanted to tilt his chin up so she could see his expression and try to comfort him. With a lump building in her throat, she retrieved the mask from her pocket and laid it out on the table in front of them.

“There’s no way,” Raph whispered, shaking his head.

Donnie placed the tips of his fingers on the fraying fabric and Vincent felt the boy’s heart begin to crack. “How-how did he say Mi-Mikey died?”

She tried to keep her voice from trembling, but she was sure they could see the tears threateningly to fall. “He claims that….Mikey killed himself.” Donnie’s eyes fell to the mask and he looked like he was about to fall apart. Raph continued to look empty as if he couldn’t comprehend what was being said. “In response to you finding out about his and Sacks’...relationship.”

“Mikey would never do that.” Raph declared, leaning back in his seat with his arms folded. “No fucking way he would do that.”

“He admitted to hurting Mikey?” Leo finally spoke up, his voice hardly above a whisper.

“Sacks admitted to being in a consensual relationship with him.”

Raph scoffed and continued to shake his head, but his eyes were filling with tears.

“He also revealed that he knew his security tapes were taken.”

Donnie looked at her then, his mask was damp with tears. “There’s no way he knew about that!”

“I didn’t confirm that we had them,” Vincent replied quickly, “but if he does know and he has proof-,”

“He could ruin your career.” Leo finished for her; his voice dull.

Vincent saw right through him, “I’m not saying that I’m giving up on this, but we are going to have to be extremely careful moving forward.”

“Where’s his body?” Donnie sniffed and didn’t look up.

“Sacks said that he is in Colorado.”

“Why the fuck is he there?” Raph demanded. His muscles clenched and twitched with growing restlessness.

“According to Sacks, Mikey requested to be moved out of state to avoid owning up to his relationship with Sacks.”

“Mikey would _never_ fucking do that!” Raph stood hard enough for his chair to be slammed back several feet into the wall. He began to aggressively pace. “He wouldn’t do that.”

“Why wasn’t he in Colorado then? With Mikey?” Leo wondered aloud.

“His probation doesn’t allow him to leave the state.”

“You think that’ll stop him?” Raph snickered darkly.

“His passport is in police custody.” Vincent regretfully countered, “if he is leaving the state, I don’t know how he is doing so.”

“Do you believe him?”

The question stabbed right through Vincent’s heart and she swallowed around the lump in her throat. A tear finally fell from her eye as she replied, “at this time, I have no reason not to.”

“You giving up on him? So easily?” Raph accused, jabbing a finger at her.

“No, I am not. I am going to continue to do whatever I can to try and prove that Mikey is alive.” The room fell silent and the pain was palpable.

“What if it is the truth?” Donnie asked, his glasses wet with his tears.

“Donnie,” Leo softly warned, as if knowing the path his brother was about to go down.

“Did he have any other proof?” The genius continued after wiping his nose.

“No, he didn’t.”

“Is he planning to return Mikey’s body?”

“No, he isn’t.”

“So, we have no proof that he’s dead,” Raph interjected.

“And no proof of life.” Donnie continued.

“We don’t have enough information to decide on either.” Leo finally looked up, setting his eyes on Donatello and then on Raphael, who was still pacing around the room. “There isn’t a lot that you can do, but there is more we can.” He turned to Vincent. “If Sacks is holding Mikey, alive, somewhere else, he will go there eventually, right?”

All eyes were on him as he continued. “Then we wait, and we watch. If Sack’s leaves New York Mikey is still alive, and if he doesn’t-.”

“What if Mikey is _in_ New York?” Raph demanded

“We all saw the helicopter lift off, Raph.”

“I tracked it all the way to Texas,” Donnie added, looking grimmer and grimmer. “If Sacks had been on the chopper, it would have returned.”

Leo dropped his hand on top of Donnie’s. The leader opened his mouth and closed it a few times. He seemed to be trying to come up with a way to comfort his brother but came up short. They were having the same problem Vincent was having. There was more evidence that Sacks was telling the truth.

“We should get home and talk to Splinter.” Leo turned to Vincent, “we’ll keep you updated.” She nodded and the trio left without another word.

The room was thick with lingering grief. The Chief looked down at the spot where Mikey’s mask had been. “Please be okay.”

x.X.x.X.x

Not a word was spoken on the way home and the brothers moved at a fraction of their usual speed. The tunnels were much too quiet and the headlights on the streets too bright as they seeped in through the storm drains.

Splinter was meditating in the common room when they finally made it home. Donnie dropped his pack by the command module and then followed Leo and Raph over to their father.

“What happened?” The old rat asked eagerly of his sons. Leo kneeled in front of his father; his head bowed deeply. Raph and Donnie mirrored his pose on either side of him. “Leonardo.”

The eldest reached into his belt and trembled as he lifted Mikey’s mask into Splinter’s view. The rat sucked in a breath and delicately took the mask from Leo. It was Mikey’s mask; they all knew that it was. It still smelled of him and the tears were too perfect to be a replication.

“Sacks claims that he’s dead.” Leo’s voice trembled and he trailed off as a sob rose to his throat. He squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced against the agony. Donnie’s shoulders shook and rose with silent sobs and Raph sat still, allowing the tears to flow freely.

“My son,” Splinter breathed, holding the mask close to his face. “Oh, my Michelangelo.” He kneeled with his sons and they wept together. It was a possibility; it had always been a possibility. But it had never been so close to reality. And still, there were so many unknowns.

They did just as Leo had suggested. During the day, Sacks was monitored by an aggressive spy program Donatello had spent three sleepless days and nights creating. It recorded live feeds from various CCTV cameras on the streets and in shops along the street. If Sacks wasn’t in TCRI, he was being watched at all times by this program. Every move he made; the brothers knew of it.

There was mostly silence in the Lair. Splinter spent most of his time meditating, but he only did so in the center of the main area of the Lair. He would not leave his sons alone, no one was allowed behind a closed door. Leo persistently tried to practice katas, but the spark was gone. His limbs were sloppy, and he could hardly hold his swords without his hands trembling. He spent a lot of time sitting with Splinter, trying to meditate.

Donnie had been an absolute mess since they spoke to Chief Vincent. He wasn’t eating or sleeping and even though the program he created recorded all the activity it spotted, he felt the need to constantly monitor it himself. The few times he had fallen asleep, he awoke terrified from a nightmare. Sometimes it would be so bad that he would fall into a panic attack and need to be held down so he would not hurt himself.

Raph was on autopilot. He didn’t seem to be processing anything that was happening. He lingered between Donnie and Leo, keeping an eye on both of them. He would bring Donnie food and urge him to eat it. He would watch Leo train to make sure he didn’t hurt himself. It was almost like he was the leader now, and _fuck_ he hated it.

Raph and Mikey used to go on these long walks when they were teenagers. Mikey would talk his ear off about this or that and Raph would simply be there, absorbing what his brother was saying. Then, Mikey would become quiet and he would give Raph a look that told him that Mikey needed to get something off his chest. Raph would sit with him for as long as it took until he was ready to go back to the Lair. And sometimes, Mikey would do that for him.

It seemed like Mikey had gone for one of those walks without him and just never came back. Almost as if Mikey still needed to get something off his chest and wouldn’t come back until he did. Raph wanted to go out into the tunnels and bring Mikey back. There was something in him that seemed convinced that Mikey was out there, just waiting for Raph to come and get him.

Splinter checked in with each of his sons at least once a day. He asked them what was on their mind and he would then try to ease them the best he could. But what could he say when he was asked how life could go on when one of them was missing? Or when he was asked if the pain ever stopped? Or if his sons were responsible for the absence of the youngest?

Leonardo was keeping April updated on everything via text, but she hadn’t been down to the Lair since the day they realized Mikey was missing. Neither had Casey. Splinter explained that the humans were dealing with the pain in their own way, but it was easy to see that his sons were suffering more without the two of them there to help them grieve.

Mikey had always been the best at knowing what everyone needed to set them straight. And without him, it seemed that everyone was lost. The family was not complete without him. And now, all they could do was try to bring him home. No one was ready to give up, but with each passing day without sign of Sack’s leaving the state, their hope was fading.

Three months passed without change. Donnie was beginning to slip into malnutrition and was experiencing moments of amnesia. Raph was losing muscle mass rapidly and didn’t care about it. Leo was becoming depressed and had difficulty finding a reason to move forward. Splinter was more tired than he had been when the boys were small. Everyone felt at a loss.

Guilt and shame were thick in the Lair when April entered. The neon lights weren’t as bright and the air damper than it had ever been. Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail and her clothes hadn’t been changed in a few days. The black bags under her eyes spoke of many sleepless nights fretting over Mikey and his brothers. But she held her head high as she approached the closest member of the family to her.

“April,” Splinter breathed, peeking at her over his shoulder when she stepped into view. April chocked on a sob and rushed forward to hug the old rat. He held her tightly and shushed her cries and apologies. “You have been missed.”

Having heard the noise, Raphael stepped into the room from the kitchen. He was maskless, so his expression of disbelief and anger was clear to the young woman.

“Raph, I’m so sorry, I should have come down sooner but-.”

“April,” Leo cut her off, emerging from Donnie’s lab with the genius right behind him.

She bit her lip as more tears streaked down her cheeks. Leo stepped forward and she fell into him with a sob. He gently rubbed her back and gave Raph a warning look over her shoulder. They all had feelings about her absence, but now was not the time to start conflict.

“I have news,” she finally said, leaning away from Leo to look up at him. “I have been researching places in Texas where Sacks could be holding Mikey. I found out that Sacks is a top investor in a company called Exolabs. They have a massive facility on the outskirts of Houston.”

Donnie slipped into his computer chair and began researching the place. April continued without missing a beat, “it is _highly_ secured. No one in and no one out. I’m talking armed guards everywhere. I’ve tried to get in contact with them, but they have made it clear that they do not talk to reporters about what is going on inside of that facility."

"It’s _huge_ ,” Donnie muttered, zooming in on the place from the satellite images.

“I found no evidence that Sacks has even been in Colorado in the past ten years. I think that was a lie.”

“So, what is your plan?” Splinter asked, gently bringing her attention back to him.

“I am going down there and I’m going to do some recon.”

“By yourself?” Raph grunted, hesitant to hold onto any hope in fear of being hurt again.

“Yes,” April replied in a way that made it clear that she wouldn’t hear any conflicting opinions.

“How close do you think you could get?” Donnie questioned as he scrolled through the cameras he had access to around Exolabs.

“As close as possible.”

“This is a dangerous mission, April.” Splinter warned, dropping a hand on her shoulder.

“I have to do _something_. I can’t just sit here and hope for the best. He-,” she cut herself off as more tears fell down her face. After taking a deep breath, she continued, “it doesn’t feel like he’s gone. I need to know for sure, I need to see it for myself.”

A solemn silence fell over them. They all agreed with the sentiment. Mikey’s aura was still around them. Sometimes, to Leo, it felt like he was lingering just around a corner, but when he checked, no one was there.

“We will need a strategy.” Leo confirmed, “a plan to see if Mikey is or has been there.”

“I can’t be certain that the helicopter landed at this facility, but it did land in the vicinity.” Donnie piped up, typing out a few notes.

“How are we going to get in?” Raph asked, still not buying the plan.

“Step one is getting eyes on the place. We need to do some serious recon, just like April said.”

“If we can get one of my bugs on the inside, I should be able to find a security tap.”

“Your bugs?” April questioned, turning to the genius.

Donnie pointed to a little robotic insect sitting on his desk. April leaned down to study it as he explained, “it is remote controlled and has a range of five miles. If we can get him into the facility and get to a computer connected to the security grid and then get him out, I will have eyes on the entire place.”

April wrapped her arms around Donnie’s shoulders and kissed him on the cheek, “that is perfect!”

“I ain’t going to Texas just for that.” Raph grumbled, “what if he ain’t even there?”

“But what if he is? Could you view the feed from the truck?”

“It will take a few adjustments and additions, but I could set up a system in the truck to do that. But it will take up a lot of room.”

“We could take more than one vehicle.” April suggested, “We could rent a truck and take it with us.”

“I can’t upgrade a vehicle we have to return.”

“Then I’ll buy one!” April exclaimed, her voice cracking. She took a deep breath, “whatever it takes.”

Leo steadied her with a hand on her shoulder, “whatever it takes. We will figure this out, Donnie-?” 

“The turtle truck should be big enough for the three of us and my tech if I gut out all the extras. But if Mikey is there and we get him out, we will need somewhere to put him.”

“You should have medical supplies as well in case he is injured.” Splinter suggested.

Leo nodded, “what do you need me to do, Donnie.”

“The truck needs to be gutted.”

“Raph, you coming?”

Raph and Leonardo disappeared into the garage. April stayed with Donnie and together they made a list of things that Donnie would need to outfit the truck with the correct equipment. Splinter lingered between them and the garage, keeping an eye on everyone. Leo and Raph worked swiftly and calmly. Within an hour they had removed the couch, the vending machine, Raph’s punching bag, and Mikey’s seat from the truck.

By then April had a list of items to purchase and Donnie had a list of items to steal. No one said anything about it, they were desperate.

“I have a plan,” Donnie declared as he entered the garage. Leo couldn’t help but smile softly at seeing his brother act more like himself than he had in months. April had a similar expression on her face. “If April brings her vehicle, then Raph can ride with her and I can use the entire space behind the front seats for my tech and a makeshift medbay."

Raph grunted, wanting to argue, but also intent on getting to his brother no matter what he had to do.

Over the next day and a half, the family equipped the truck with everything they would need to hack the security system of Exolabs and revive their brother and everything in-between if – when they got him out. Donnie also helped April tint the windows of her SUV and alter the passenger seat to suit Raphael’s massive bulk.

Exactly six months to the day Mikey went missing, the family stood out in the garage. Splinter was offering his final words of advice before his sons’ departure. “Do not be reckless, my sons, whether Michelangelo is there or not, you will not be helpful injured or worse. Be careful and be vigilant. And text me every hour on the hour! I mean it!”

April smiled, “I’ll keep them in check Splinter.” She hugged him and then headed for her car. Casey promised to check in on Splinter while they were gone. He wanted to come but he couldn’t get time off from his new job as an NYPD detective.

Raph followed after her with a short wave to his father and brothers. Leo bowed, “we’ll be back soon!”

x.X.x.X.x

They only stopped for a few hours about halfway there so April and Leo could sleep. Donnie offered to drive, but Leo was wary of his lack of sleep, and Raph was too big to fit in the driver’s seat of April’s car.

It took about 35 hours to get to the facility, including their pitstop. It was the dead of night when they arrived, which was to their favour. They parked on a residential street 3 miles away. April left Raph to squeeze into the truck while she went on a food run.

Donnie dropped the bug out of the window and directed it to the East. It sifted through people’s lawns, through fences, and across roads. Leo, who didn’t get enough sleep during their break, nodded off leaning against Donnie’s shell. Raph was extremely impatient, enough that April yanked him out of the truck and into her car. She then drove him to a park so he could run off some steam.

It was almost like playing a video game – something Donnie was second only to Mikey at. The bug was less than an inch tall and easily slipped through fields without being seen. The massive fence surrounding the compound was easy to slip through, but the hard part came next. Getting inside the building undetected was going to be tricky. A blessing came in the form of drug addiction. A guard slipped outside to have a cigarette and Donnie took the opportunity to slide into the facility when the guard returned inside.

To avoid suspicion, Donnie directed the bug to climb up the wall and latch to the ceiling. Then came the painstaking task of searching every room one by one. Despite the urgency they all felt, Donnie, took his time and patiently followed every hall and corridor until he found what he was looking for.

There were mostly guards wandering the halls, but there was an occasional person in a white lab coat. Doctors? Researchers? Nevertheless, the building gave off a creepy vibe. There was little décor. The walls were grey, the floor was grey, and the doors were white. Small number plates were used to identify the rooms – which wasn’t helpful for Donnie.

An hour into the search, Donnie found something interesting. A group of people in white coats were discussing something in the center of one of the hallways. Donnie positioned the bug above them and turned the sound up on his headphones. Even then he could only make out a few words. “Specimen…...ready……busy…..girl….turtle.” As soon as the word was spoken, Donnie jolted upright, jostling Leo from his shell.

“What!” Leo exclaimed, grabbing Donnie’s shoulders to steady himself and his brother. “What’s happening?”

“Turtle,” Donnie whispered, setting the bug to follow one of the people as they broke off from the group. The woman walked briskly down a hall Donnie hadn’t searched down yet. The prospect of seeing his brother there and alive overrode Donnie’s need to get to the security mainframe. Leo didn’t seem to object as they watched the video feed intently.

Donnie followed her into various rooms. Leo commented briefly about the complexity of the compound. She buzzed herself and Donnie’s bug in through a heavy set of double doors and Donnie was confused at what was inside.

It looked to be an exhibit of some kind. The raised platform met glass walls that lifted to the ceiling. Inside was what looked to be a habitat for an animal accustomed to warmer climates. There were some trees to one side and sand on the ground. A few guards lingered around the enclosure. The woman who led them in there was the only researcher inside. She was standing by the door of the cage and writing something down on her clipboard. Donnie position the bug above her and boldly slipped into the enclosure via a vent. What was being housed in there? There wasn’t anything lingering on the sand, so he moved towards the trees. They stretched right into the ceiling, making it easy for Donnie to cling onto one and follow it down through the leaves.

“Mikey!” He exclaimed with a broken sob. Leo’s mouth was hanging open. There he was. Their baby brother. Mikey was laying on his side with his legs curled up towards his chest. The recognition had been automatic. That was their brother, it was _obvious_. But the more they looked, the less he looked familiar. His shell was different; it was thinner and covered with curved spikes. And the turtle was much bigger than Mikey had been. “Is it?” Donnie breathed, leaning more into his brother.

Leo swallowed, “I think so.”

“How do we get him out?” There were no less than three guards with automatic rifles in the room and dozens more in the hall outside.

“We need access to the security grid and the blueprints first, Donnie.”

The genius nodded and directed the bug to climb back out Mikey’s cell. They needed to do this right. No mistakes.

Donnie scaled the walls down to the computer set up against one wall. It appeared to be monitoring Mikey’s vitals and the various stats in regard to the cage’s climate. The bug tapped into the computer’s wiring and tracked the source of the grid connection. It was underground. The security grid was in the basement!

Donnie quickly found a floor vent and followed the shaft downward. The bug eventually came out the other side and found a room filled with massive hard drives and processing units. He’d found it! There were no guards in the room, so he had no problem finding the proper port and infecting the system with a specially built virus. The computers built into the side of the truck lit up and began to load the security feed.

The connection was secured, and the virus began to forward terabytes of information to Donnie’s set up. While the data transferred, Donnie directed the bug back through the vent to the main floor. It climbed up the wall across the ceiling and down the tree. This time, the bug climbed down closer to the sleeping turtle.

“Donnie, what are you doing?”

“Just checking something.”

The bug jumped down onto the hay covering the floor and crept across to the front of the turtle.

“That’s Mikey!” Raph exclaimed as he entered the truck. April was right on his tail. There on the turtle’s mid plastron was the letter M.

“Hold on, baby bro,” Leo whispered.

x.X.x.X.x

Their recon mission was now a rescue mission. The four of them crowded around the building schematics looking at exits, guard posts, and possible routes of escape. Mikey’s cage was set in the center of the building, the farthest point from all exits – it was intentional. Donnie hadn’t seen any other specimens in the building, the entire place revolved around their baby brother.

With the sun, came a new herd of employees. There were more guards and more researchers during the day, and this pushed any plan of action back, they would wait until night. It seemed that Sacks had been counting on Mikey’s location never been found. The guards, while trained and armed, didn’t seem entirely competent, especially the night crew. Donnie was the first to bring up the possibility of evacuating the place with a fire alarm. It was cliché, but it could work.

About mid-day, while Donnie and Leo were sleeping, April and Raph discovered an emergency hatch built into the roof of one of the labs. That could be there way in and then there way out. Donnie charted a path between the entrance point to Mikey’s cell, it would take five minutes to get there and five minutes to get back. By the time the researchers figured out how to override Donnie’s controls, they would be home free.

Over speakerphone, Splinter led them through a calming meditation to get them ready. Now more than ever, they needed to be focused. The only mild problem they faced was the possibility of Sacks finding out it was them. Donnie needed the cameras active so he could direct his brothers to Mikey’s cell and back, this meant that Sacks would know exactly who took Mikey. Donnie surmised that he could set the grid to erase all files when they were safely on their way home, but it wasn’t certain. It was a risk, but one they were all willing to take.

Shortly after 1 AM the next morning, a piercing alarm filled the night air and the facility doors were thrown open. Researchers and guards poured out in the parking lot as two unseen figures climbed onto the roof of the building. The intruder alarm went off when the cameras spotted the two turtles, but Donnie had already remotely shut and locked all exterior doors. Raph and Leo rushed through the halls, listening to their brother’s directions. They came upon a large set of metal double doors and Donnie urged them inside.

The room was much bigger than it had seemed on the camera, but Leo did not linger to admire the view. Donnie had opened the door to Mikey’s cage and Raph rushed inside. The increase in temperature was at the back of Raph and Leo’s mind.

“Stop!” Donnie ordered over the comm, “he’s scared and looking at you Leo, say something.”

“Mikey?” Leo breathed, putting his hands up in surrender, “we are going to take you home, okay? You need to come with us.” While he was speaking, the pair cautiously stepped forward. Their time was limited, they were prepared to take him by force if necessary. “Can you come out of there?”

There was the sound of shuffling and just when they were sure they would have to go in after him, Mikey slowly stepped out from the trees. “Holy hell you grew.” Raph beamed, amazed to see he now looked Mikey eye to eye. Neither noticed at the time that there was no recognition in Mikey’s baby blue eyes.

“No time, Raph, let’s go!” Leo ordered, urging him forward.

“Let’s go, little bro.” Raph grinned, grabbing Mikey’s wrist and pulling him out of the cell.


End file.
